The Power of Connection

The Power of Connection

Today's Learning Moment 01-23-23 – The Power of Connection

Written by and for people with Lived Experience - Port Alberni Community Action Team - Families Helping Families 

The Power Of Connection

Connection is an incredibly powerful tool in the journey of people with substance/mental health disorders. It can provide emotional support, guidance, and understanding that can help a person begin or stay on the path to recovery. Professionals understand this when they work with patients experiencing substance/mental health disorders. Often the first step in getting their clients to accept help is creating connection. 

Family members are some of the closest human connections to people with concurrent disorders and they can provide vital emotional support before and during recovery. To be in a position to provide this support, the family also needs to retain or re-establish some level of connection. 

Often relationship has been destroyed because of the destructive nature of substance/mental health disorders. If that’s the case in your family, even rebuilding the smallest tenuous connection link can make all the difference. Sometimes, it just saying, “we love you and are here when you choose to seek help.” 

In this article, we will explore how connection and family support can help people with concurrent disorders.

What Connection Can Do For People With Substance/Mental Health Disorders

Connection allows people to open up and express their emotions in a safe and supportive environment. It can also provide an outlet for individuals to share their struggles and successes, allowing them to receive encouragement and advice from those who understand. Connection can also help people stay motivated once they begin their healing journey by providing them with a sense of purpose and meaning. Additionally, it can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can often lead to relapse. Last, but certainly not least, people with concurrent disorders often feel worthless. They feel that they have failed in life and that no one wants to be close to them. Connection is often the thin thread that gives them hope.

The Challenge For Family

Retaining or rebuilding connection will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do as a family member. It’s pretty common for families to experience behaviours from their loved one that is completely abnormal and objectionable from anything they have experienced with them before the disorders took hold. Often these behaviours result in the complete opposite of connection. Relationships become antagonistic, confrontational or completely broken.

For many families, distancing themselves often seems like the only way to retain their own sanity or stop what they feel is abuse, manipulation, and family environments that are destructive not only to the person suffering from the disorders but to everyone else. I’ve heard from families who told me they felt it became a choice between them, other siblings, or the person with the concurrent disorders.

One last but crucial point is that every family is different. Your family’s journey will be unique from all other families. This means that you or your loved one might not be ready to embrace any of what we’re talking about in this article. That’s OK – Let’s state that again. It’s OK if you can’t be connected to your loved one yet. Time is your ally. Sometimes it can take years before they reach out or the pain you’re feeling dissipates enough so you can. There is no one way. Sometimes the break is too great. We all feel it, but guilt is not part of the connection equation.

How Family Can Help

Family members are often some of the closest people to an individual with substance or mental health disorders, and they can provide vital emotional support during recovery. Family members can also offer practical support, such as providing transportation to treatment or helping with daily tasks and probably the most important – advocacy with health professionals and other support organizations including government programs.

Families should try and create a safe and supportive environment for the person to be able to express their feelings and struggles. They should also strive to be understanding and non-judgmental when listening to the individual's struggles, be patient, and take time to communicate positively with the individual. If possible, families might want to consider attending support groups. One great resource for families is, Mom’s Stop The Harm, Holding Hope Support Groups which are all across Canada.

The Importance Of Connection For Recovery

Connection is key for recovery as it helps to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation which can often lead to relapse. Therefore families need to strive to create an environment where the individual feels comfortable opening up about their struggles and successes. Connection is the first step in providing a safe environment and allows them to share their successes as well as their struggles. This helps them feel supported and motivated to choose to heal or once they have begun their recovery journey.

Family members are also some of the closest people to an individual with concurrent disorders, and they can provide vital emotional support during recovery. The hardest part of establishing connection is leaving behind past relationship expectations. Parents need to stop parenting. Instead, they have to reframe their relationship as equal partners with their loved one. Part of that process is letting go of long-held prospects for your loved one. Possibly you thought they would be a doctor, lawyer or carpenter. We need to let go of these views and embrace that their being happy and healthy might be their greatest achievement.

Our goal is to create a safe and supportive environment for them to express their feelings and struggles. To do this, we have to learn entirely different communication strategies. Some of the best resources I’ve come across are through the University of Washington – SPIRIT Lab. They provide real tools based on CBT (Cognitive Therapy Tools). Their program teaches the family how to be understanding and non-judgmental. They teach us how to listen, be patient, and have real practical skills to communicate positively with the person in our lives suffering from concurrent disorders.

In conclusion, connection is a really powerful resource in the recovery journey for those with substance use disorders or mental health challenges. It can offer the assistance, support, and understanding needed to keep our loved ones on the road to recovery. Families are crucial in giving practical support like providing transportation, helping with daily chores, or advocating for them, as well as emotional support. Connection is important for rehabilitation because it helps to lessen emotions of isolation and loneliness, which frequently result in relapse.

Note: From time to time, we may use words or phrases that are not first person, or the latest best-in-practice language. Sometimes we will use older, non-informed jargon. This is done to clarify and inform people who are learning the new non-stigmatizing language. You can tell when you run into these old or non-inclusive words or phrases. They will be in quotation marks - eg old word “addiction” – when we first introduce new words or phrases, they will be in Parenthesis - eg (people with substance disorders). 

Author: Ron Merk  – Ron is a person with family-lived experience. He advocates for people with substance or mental illness. (This article was written with the help of AI -accessing the combined knowledge of humanity)

Families Helping Families is an initiative of the Port Alberni Community Action Team. We regularly send out "Learning Moment" articles to help folks understand substance illness. Knowledge is vital in understanding the disorder of our family members. You may copy, distribute or share our articles as long as you retain the attribution. Add yourself to our distribution list by dropping us a note at - albernihelp@gmail.com