Trauma and Healing in Recovery

Written by and for people with Lived Experience - Port Alberni Community Action Team - Families Helping Families

Today’s Learning Moment – 12 21 20 Issue: Trauma and Healing in Recovery

Your best reading experience is online with photos and formatting here: https://ptalbcat.blogspot.com/2020/12/healing.html  or the text version below.

I was scrolling through a Facebook group I belong to for people who use drugs and are struggling through their journeys of recovery.  Overall, it is usually quite inspiring to read the various stories of success.  The majority of these groups I belong to subscribe to abstinence as the end goal of success.  And that is awesome as so many people who use drugs are striving for success.

During this particular scroll, I came across a meme that I reacted and responded to.  The meme was regarding trauma and personal responsibility.  Except for me, the meme was using language that was blaming and shaming.  As a counsellor, trained and experienced in helping to empower people to make changes, I think that the concept of blaming and shaming is accepted far too widely as a way to try to motivate people to be accountable for their own lives.  In reality, blaming and shaming only contributes to the trauma and can send someone who is already suffering into a vicious downward spiral.  It diminishes motivation rather than inspires it.  Here is the meme:

People suffering from trauma and are in recovery from substance use disorder, or even still at the peak of their “using”, are already in an introspective and sometimes brooding cycle of shame and self-blame.  So to come up to a person who is struggling with this, point a finger and imply that they should “get over it” or “pull up their bootstraps”, or that it is somehow irresponsible or weak of them to be brooding over their trauma, can be far more harmful than what may be intended in the first place.  The implication is punitive.  I repeat and paraphrase a concept that is fast becoming an accepted truth in the field of substance use disorders.  If punishment worked to inspire people to stop using drugs, then no one would be using drugs.  People who develop the disorder are already experiencing debilitating punishment from family, friends, and society as well as their own mental and physical health.  As Dr Gabor Mate put it, if punishment worked, I would have no more patients with substance use disorder.

So back to my post, I received a comment from someone about not holding other peoples hands.  That they were not responsible for the other person’s trauma.  And I agreed wholeheartedly with this person’s point.  However, I stated that there were far more empowering ways to inspire motivation in people than pointing a finger and shaming them. 

I find that this is a common attitude amongst people who are in recovery from the disorder.  Along with the shaming cycle, the attitude projects the principle, seemingly widely accepted in recovery groups, that “what I did to recover is what you need to do to recover”.  Many in recovery believe that their approach is “the” only approach to recovery.  And if you’re not doing what I did, and what the “program” (whichever program that is) tells you to do, then you’re doing it wrong.  Often, a “tough love” approach has been part of that person’s recovery.  Granted that may have been an effective tool to stop the behaviours related to using substances, but I have found that the approach itself is mired in blame, shame, anger, guilt and can reinforce trauma rather than help the person heal.  I find that many in recovery, while abstinent and proud of it, have still not faced trauma.  I think part of this is believing that others will respond with a “suck it up” mindset.  Thus, they push this mindset on to others.  As if recovery is some kind of war and we are soldiers, not every day people trying to grow.  And granted, especially in early recovery, the journey can feel like a fight. 

But true recovery is about healing, not fighting.  It is a lifelong process of living life, not a place.

So as counsellors in mental health and substance use, we have been trained to recognize that trauma is likely a part of the person’s damage.  We recognize that substance use became a disorder as the person found that they could medicate to numb the pain of previous and/or current trauma.  What started as fun, then coping, more often than not to cope with trauma, became an actual mental health disorder reinforcing the original trauma and creating its own trauma through sanctions and punishments spread throughout society.

Because of the tenets and beliefs embedded into our society about drugs, because of what has been pounded into our social policies and thus our “kitchen table talk”, we have learned to punish people for using drugs.  Because we “know” that it is a crime.  Because we “know” that drugs will always lead to addiction.  Because we “know” that the person we love so much loves their drugs more than us. Because we “know” that if we shun them, push them out of our lives,  sanction them with consequences they should change. Because we “know” we’ve failed them when they don’t change when we want them to.  There are countless beliefs that we have about the person that uses drugs that are just not rational or true.  But because of things like prohibition, not just from alcohol back when, but currently now with drugs, we “know” that people who use drugs are inherently bad and should be punished.  That is embedded in the very fabric of our society and belief systems.

Enter reinforced trauma.

So it is important for all of us, whether we use drugs recreationally, are in recovery due to developing the disorder, or are trying to help a loved one suffering from substance use disorder and/or any other trauma that likely led to the disorder, to walk beside the person while they heal.  It is important to evolve from the “fight” of recovery to the “healing” of recovery.  Sometimes, if we are able, we might have to hold a hand for a moment or two.  That is not a sign of weakness or enabling, it is a sign of courage and compassion.  It is important that the person is not to blame for the trauma.  Rather, they have the power within them and through reaching out, that will help them take true responsibility for their healing and move forward in their lives.

All our past articles can be found here: https://ptalbcat.blogspot.com/
The link to this specific article is: https://ptalbcat.blogspot.com/2020/12/healing.html  SHARING is best done by copying and pasting this link everywhere you want:

Author: Ben Goerner – Ben advocates for people with substance illness

Families Helping Families is an initiative of the Port Alberni Community Action Team. We send out “Learning Moment” articles regularly to help folks understand substance illness. Knowledge is vital in understanding the illness of our family members. You may copy, distribute or share our articles as long as you retain the attribution. You can be added to our distribution list by dropping us a note to - albernihelp@gmail.com