I’m a Big, Tough Man – I Won’t Die

 

"Note: This story is a composite of many real stories of overdose deaths in the last 6 months in BC – specifically emphasizing hard working, family men, between 25 and 50, who use substances alone."

Written by and for people with Lived Experience - Port Alberni Community Action Team - Families Helping Families - a harm & stigma reduction article.

Today’s Learning Moment – 11 16 20 Issue: I’m A big, Tough Man – I Won’t Die

So said John, my contractor friend who has never done drugs. He didn’t even dabble with recreational grass when we were teens.

He’s 36, has a wife and two kids. Works hard to support them and is trying to achieve the Canadian Dream. John is just your average hardworking stiff. He usually kicks back with a beer or two. Lately, he’s been hanging around with several guys at work. I won’t say which one, but one of them introduced John to some uppers. John mentioned feeling a bit tired and stressed to his new “friend” who instantly told John that he had just the thing to make him feel better.


As alarmed as I was about the overall downside of John taking drugs, I was more scared for John than anything. John and I go way back. John is no drug “addict”. Never has been and has always been a responsible down to earth guy. You couldn’t be more average if you tried. John is the quintessential definition of a typical, middle-class working man.

From circumstances in my own family, I know that “stuff” has all kinds of shit in it. I know it usually contains Fentanyl, so I told him of the latest stats around the overdose crisis including drugs like Cocaine and Meth. He just laughed at me. Told me I was being silly and he wasn't taking enough to even worry about. Besides, he told me it was a stimulant, not an opioid.

I mentioned again that all of these drugs including stimulants also have Fentanyl in them. But for some reason, he just couldn’t make the link in his thinking that an “upper” could have two opposite affecting drugs in the same substance.

I asked him what Megan (his wife) thought? His eyes got really big. He said, “She doesn’t know and don’t you dare tell her.”

I asked, “How the hell do you take this stuff without her knowing?”

“Easy,” he said, “I take it after supper in my man cave. I just tell her I’m chilling for an hour or two. She’s so busy after dinner, she doesn’t even check on me until later in the evening.”

Last night John died. Megan found him in his easy-chair several hours after dinner. The ambulance people said he didn’t take a larger dose, it was just a different batch from his drug supply friend. Apparently, there was just a bit more Fentanyl in the mix than previous stuff he used.

Meagan and kids are devastated. They had no idea. They’re now facing life without John. No husband and dad. The financial situation is horrible. Megan says she’ll probably lose the house.

Me? Well, I’m carrying a lot of guilt. I should have done more! There is no doubt in my mind that I should have let Megan know what was going on. I also could have made sure John knew about Naloxone. Most importantly I should have told him that using alone was the worst thing he could do. Even if he couldn’t tell Megan of his substance use, I could have hooked him up with the new Lifeguard App. He could have installed Lifeguard on his cell phone and it would have saved his life.

Got to go now – I told Megan I would come over to help arrange John’s funeral.

Use Lifeguard – protect yourself and the people you love.
Lifeguard App Link:

https://lifeguarddh.com/

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Author: Ron Merk
Ron is a person with lived experience. He advocates for families living with members suffering from mental health and substance illness.

Families Helping Families is an initiative of the Port Alberni Community Action Team. We send out “Learning Moment” articles regularly to help folks understand substance illness. Knowledge is vital in understanding the illness of our family members. You may copy, distribute or share our articles as long as you retain the attribution. You can be added to our distribution list by dropping us a note to - albernihelp@gmail.com